The soulmate ideology is flawed anyway, 10. 4. In fact, if you have a big selection of different partners, you will not feel too much urge to go out and to cheat on your partners. Financial downtime may be harder to manage. 4 As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been. 9The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart had turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice. Overall, the infant mortality in polygynous families is considerably higher than in monogamous families. Genital malignancies especially cancer cervix is directly related to women having multiple sexual partners. Also, Islam gave parameters for the responsibilities, duties, and rights of each spouse. Third theme: The coping strategies used by polygamous women have included faith in religion, fate role, and compromise In fact, many couples in therapy revealed that sex was the only glue that held their marriage for many years when there was no longer time to engage in other things that strengthen relationships. Its the only accepted form of polygamy. 57(1):8597. Going through the pros and cons, the benefits are undeniable. What's more, women will naturally feel powerless in a relationship where nearly all the cards are stacked against them. Now, a setting with more than one wife, and perhaps, many children will naturally be prone to more arguments or discords. This is not specific to just Islamic texts. Yes, it is too true, and the scripture is faithful in relating it, and repeating it, and referring to it long after, Neh. Furthermore, even if the husband isn't extremely wealthy, just as two is better than one, three or more financially stable people in a marriage setting will undoubtedly translate to financial security for the entire family. Islam unit 2. The presence of a rival alone is enough reason for a fight. Status symbol: In some cultures, having multiple spouses at the same time is also considered as kind of a status symbol. For instance, if you want to get a demanding corporate job that pays quite a lot of money, your chances will increase significantly if you have connections inside the company. Whoever Actualises Tawheed will enter Paradise without a Reckoning: Ahmad An-Najmi, on There Is No Marriage Without A Guardian And The Conditions of a Valid Nikh by Shaikh Al-Fawzn (Bulgh Al-Marm), Polygamy in Islam, and women it is not permitted to marry: (Bulgh al-Marm) by Shaikh al-Fawzn, Advice on Polygynous Marriages And to Women Seeking Marriage in General, The Excellence of Makkah, its History and its Sacredness (The Masjid al-Harm). Traditional Sunni Islamic marital jurisprudence allows polygyny. It shows that marriages that work only do so because of a conscious effort to stay together from both parties. So what are the reasons that make someone think about taking this strategic decision and using this rule that allows polygamy? This chapter begins with as melancholy a but as almost any we find in all the Bible. However, cultural or religious traditions made him bring in subsequent wives in a non-formal or non-legal way. Polygamy is a breeding ground for jealousy, 21. Apart from the backlash from parents, the societal stigma is another bummer. Check your inbox or spam folder now to confirm your subscription. Even if he can, only a few children will likely get the genes since a monogamous family setting usually has few children. This can provide security and stability for the wives and their children. The bottom line is, maintaining the marriage no longer rests on two persons only since there are more people in the polygamy marriage setting. Gay & LGBTQ Discrimination. The wisdoms behind plural marriage for men are indeed numerous. Societies all over the world strive under the weight of moral corruption and can hardly survive the consequences of their unnatural choices. Another problem with polygamy is that you will also need a bigger home in order to accommodate all of your spouses. In turn, the level of dependence on their partner is enormous and those spouses will often not be able to leave the marriage due to financial reasons, even though they might not be happy in their marriage at all. What's more, when there are scenarios of financial challenges, the polygamy-established home may be relatively harder to manage since there's more financial obligation. The cons of polygamy go beyond when the marriage is still alive. 1. Fourteen hundred years ago men in the community of the beginning of revelation could have any number of wives as they please, so it was more of a limitation than a privilege. In many cases, the women are not in the position to work, school, or improve themselves as their improvement may make them feel they no longer need someone. The Fund for Peace; DHS; MICS. He isallowedto marry two, three or four women due to the saying of Allh: , ..marry other women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one.. An-Nisaa: 3. In places where polygamy is technically legal or allowed, there are usually no laws that accommodate the splitting of properties when divorce scenarios come up. In fact the Quraan goes to great lengths in exonerating the Prophet Sulaimaan from any wrongdoing and relays his great piety and love of Allaah: They (the wrongdoers) followed what the devils gave out falsely of the magic in the lifetime of Sulaiman (Solomon). In an Islamic polygynous marriage, a women is provided for, honoured, shielded from harm, sheltered, her children are considered legitimate and given full rights of kinship, lineage and inheritance she and her children are fully fledged equal members of the family. Polygamy may enable a male to sire more offspring, but monogamy can, in certain circumstances, represent a more successful overall reproductive strategy. Polygamy has many disadvantages, according to this post. In fact, if you are in a polygamous marriage, you can have multiple partners at the same time without being accused of cheating. Indeed, Marriage is a sacred institution in Islam with very important objectives. A woman is in need of being lookedafter (and in need of companionship) and having someone over her in authority, and taking care of her. 1 King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaohs daughterMoabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. the time he stays and the money he spends. Shall Solomon fall, that was the beauty of Israel, and so great a blessing of his generation? Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. In such a situation, a woman can allow her husband to marry another woman to enable them have children. How can this be considered as superior and more liberating for a woman than the Islamic model?]. In fact, many people underestimate the costs related to polygamy and are surprised of how expensive it can be to have multiple partners. Networks and connections to different people are quite important to succeed in various parts of life. Polygamous households also tend to have many children. . Again, in Africa, many women with children from a previous marriage or relationship often consider polygamy as it does not only offer them financial support, but it also gives them a sense of being part of a family instead of being alone as getting married can be a little challenging with extra "baggage.". This resulted in a very civilized relationship between husband and wife in Islam. Research shows that one of the reasons for cheating in marriages is boredom. It is known that the numbers can only be increased through marriage, and the number of offspring gained through plural marriage will be greater than that achieved through marriage to one wife. Believe it or not, polygamy symbolizes the alpha male status in many ancient cultures. Naturally, there are more women in the world than women than men. However from the inventionsthe Christians made to the Religion of God was their forbidding polygynous marriages and that was not from the Laws of God they changed the Law. However, it's the culture in many locations such as Africa and the Middle East. Yet, they will not be allowed to do so since they are only allowed to have one spouse in a conventional monogamous partnership. [size=16pt] ADVANTAGES OF POLYGAMY [/color][/size] 1. Lets be honest. Let us enquire into the occasions and particulars of it. Older women (usually post-30s), divorcees (or widows), Asalamu aleykum Shaykh, most parents, especially in the west, would never allow their daughters to be a second wife. on The Excellence of Makkah, its History and its Sacredness (The Masjid al-Harm). So they will allowthis whilst prohibiting plural marriages! As mentioned earlier, the new spouse can be at another location or under one roof as it is practiced in many African countries. While this point may not be true at all times, there are chances a guy free to have many spouses will have no reason to sneak around outside relationships. . While many monogamous relationships can end in divorce due to infidelity or, it offers a platform of equality, fairness and has legal protection for involved parties under the law of virtually all countries. While a woman can have up to five or even six children, the possibility of having a larger family is even higher with more women in polygamy. The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [4] The Discretionary Attributes are Established with the Self of Allh as He Wills. What does this Mean? The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [3] The Jahmiyyah and Mutazilahand the Rise of the Kullbiyyah, Ashirah and Mturdiyyah. Recommended: Advantages and Disadvantages of an Extended Family. The complexity of choice disappears, when you need to prefer only one companion for life. So in these types of societies they have no real problem and do not mind a man (even a married man) having girlfriends and partners and living with whomever they please in a manner that is prohibited by God. Reduce cheating in marriage: Having more than one partner can reduce the rate of cheating. Besides, you don't need me to tell you how jealous can escalate into a much sinister feeling that could lead to hurting someone or even murder. So, I came about to be a relationship advice writer! Assalmu alaikum. Older women (usually post-30s), divorcees (or widows) [read on], In the name of Allah, Most Merciful, Bestower of Mercy. Brideprice is a frequent feature of polygynous unions and is intended to compensate the brides family for the loss of a pair of hands. In religious perspective, many religious people think that monogamy is the way to go and that anything else is not in line with religious beliefs. In societies that practice sororate, for example, a man has to marry the sister of his deceased wife. Polygamy can enable a man to have children if his first wife cannot give birth. In turn, this also implies that you will have more connections and a stronger social network. The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [6] The Early Salaf and Categorising the Attributes of Allh: Principles and Examples from Ibn Taymiyyah in Refuting the Muattilah and Mumaththilah, The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [5] Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamah Categorised the Attributes of Allh in Order to Aid Understanding and to Refute the Deviated Sects. Advantages of polygamy can be that stereotypical 'female' roles can be shared. The disadvantage of living in an extended type of family is shouldering more expenses for their basic needs. List of Cons of Polygamy. Bear in mind that not all polygamy arrangement translates to the spouses living under one roof with the guy. Some have just one right: the non-Muslim who has the right of neighborhood.". Advantages and Disadvantages of an Extended Family, Countries that produces the best music in the world, Countries With the Most Handsome Men in the World 2022. The Creed of Abul-Hasan Al-Ashari: Al-Ibnah an Usl Ad-Diynah: [8] The Mutazilahand the Arguments of the Kullbiyyah, Mturdiyyah and Ashariyyahand how the Salaf and Ibn Taymiyyah Exposed their Deviations in the Names and Attributes of Allh. . The same is true for many other parts of life and therefore, polygamy can also increase your overall chances in life in general. Naturally, humans are a variety-loving species, which makes cheating on our spouses an easy option as continuous monotony is a problem for us. Those whospeak ill of plural marriages (polygyny) are affected by the modern day Christian ideology (which itself is not the way of the Prophets as mentioned in biblical scriptures). According to Islamic legislation, Muslim men can marry four women. Laryngeal cancers, Rectal cancers, etc. 1. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages of polygamy. In the end, everyone should decide for themselves whether a polygamous lifestyle is suitable for them or if they rather want to spend their lives with only one partner instead. Assalamu alaykum, The first articles of this GCSE series cannot be printed or put in pdf. Gang leaders and warlords attract new recruits with the promise of a bride or an offer to cover their brideprice. But as I mentioned earlier, we are jealous and territorial creatures and will, at the end of the day, prefer being with someone we can call our own. The bottom line is, men sneak around because they are not permitted to have multiple wives. How excellent a slave he was ever oft-returning in repentance to us. Quraan 38.30, Solomon the son of David said, Tonight I will sleep with seventy wiveseach of whom will conceive a child who will be a knight fighting for Allahs Cause. His companion said, If Allah wills. But Solomon did not say so out of forgetfulness; therefore none of those women got pregnant except one who gave birth to a half child., The Prophet () further said, If the Prophet () Solomon had said it (i.e. Al-Hfidh Ibn Hajr (rahimahullh) said: 991: Narrated Abu Hurairah(radiyallaahu anhu): Allaahs Messenger (salallaahu alaihi wassallam) said: It is not permitted [read on], Advice on Polygynous Marriages And to Women Seeking Marriage in General. Even so, there are many instances of polygamy in the West, especially within immigrant communities and certain religious groups such as the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS Church) and other Mormon fundamentalists. The practice of polygamy naturally leads to a larger family compared to monogamous relationships. On the one hand, children in polygamous families share in the genes of an alpha male and stand to benefit from his protection, resources, influence, outlook, and expertise. What are the benefits of polygamous family? That is because the men have to take on the responsibility of maintenance and care over the women, whilst the women are looked after. Looking through these pros and cons, you'll undoubtedly find many undesirable cons, but you can't ignore this upside as a woman. Being many may cause the man to have little or no reason to compromise. Venereal diseases are multiplying in incidence numbers and speed of spread. 78 5 As a woman, you naturally have a limited number of children you can give birth to in one lifetime. The mistress is not cared for, protected or provided for. 7On a hill east of Jerusalem, Solomon built a high place for Chemosh the detestable god of Moab, and for Molek the detestable god of the Ammonites.8He did the same for all his foreign wives, who burned incense and offered sacrifices to their gods. Assalmu alaikum. Plural Marriage in Islam (This is a section taken from an article of Shaikh Al-Fawzn elsewhere on this site). 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